I do not want to alarm anyone - I'm not wound that tight - but there is a devious conspiracy in our country. A conspiracy of murderous distortions. To be quite honest about all this, I was not the first to notice this conspiracy. In fact, it is quite unusual for me to notice anything first. As all husbands know, the husband is the last to know... anything. It was the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage who first become aware of this conspiracy and brought it to my attention. Don't ask me how she does it, for I do not know. I just wish I knew her secret. My wife is the first to notice everything.
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