Can 'iron Sharpens Iron' Become an Excuse for Abuse?

Another goblet of gold from my wife, here. The conversation went this way: Me: you say that 'encouragement is sometimes about finding the right time for iron to sharpen iron.' Does that mean we just need to wait for the right time to give someone a truth they may not like to hear? Wife: I think it's more complicated than that. There's more to be considered. Iron sharpening iron, as a method of encouragement, must be a tremendously complex idea. There's a stand-alone article in that. Me: okay. That sounds exciting.

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Don't Crush What You Need to Blossom

This is another wise saying of my wife's. 'Don't crush the flower before it gets its chance to blossom.' Now, I am not really a gardener, but I have it on good authority that flowering plants need to be planted and tended well before they can mature. The same theory fits with human beings, whether it is in families, workplaces, churches, or marriages.

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Can You Stay In A Marriage When You Know Your Spouse Doesn't Love You? Should You?

"I've suspected that my husband isn't in love with me for a couple of years. I am an optimist. But I have eyes. I am fairly observant. A couple of years ago, my husband started to openly stare at other women. He would ignore me or barely listen to me when we talked. He stopped making an effort to spend time with me. I braced myself for him to seek a separation or divorce. When he didn't (and when things didn't get any better) I finally confronted him and said that I didn't think he loved me anymore. I sort of expected for him to deny it to try to save my feelings. But he didn't. He admitted that he loves me, but that he hasn't been 'in love with me' for quite a long time. Then he said he didn't plan to do anything about it for the time being because of our kids. This doesn't make me feel much better. I also feel strongly that we should stay together for the kids, but I am not sure if I want a husband who isn't in love with me."

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A Front and Rear Guard for the Heart

I awoke as I normally do with the thought, what will I speak on today, and what will I write? Sometimes I already have the idea, but not this day. And then I read Acts chapter 14, and I see two words that summarise what Paul and the brothers were up against on that first missionary journey. First I see the opposition that they faced. The second thing I see is the flattery they encounter. Two completely opposite, and yet equally dangerous spirits, but both replete with opportunity.

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I Am Not Sure What I Strive For In Terms Of My Marital Separation, Marriage, And Life

"I am newly-separated and I am struggling. This surprises me somewhat because before I was married, I was extremely independent. So I'd hoped that I would fall back into this once I was separated and might even enjoy my freedom. This has not happened. Instead, I feel like I'm floundering. I really don't know what to do with myself. I end up bugging my kids too much. My separated husband is still very distant. I'd desperately like to reconcile with him, but he's giving me the vibe that this isn't going to happen any time soon. Some of my friends are telling me that I need to turn my attention to myself and to other things. But this is very undesirable to me. I really want to just hope that my husband comes around, but maybe I am deluding myself. I want to hope and pray at night for what is going to make this better, but I don't know what that is."

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Men, Please Understand a Woman's Apprehension

The gender differences that are apparent because of the biological differences between men and women mean that, at least in general terms, women are more inclined to be apprehensive than men are. And particularly with regard to dealing with the opposite sex.

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Let Me Just Tell You About My Wife

Even if my instincts tell me this might be a dumb thing to write on, I do believe God's leading says otherwise. I don't write this to give any impression of how great our marriage is, though in my opinion it is wonderful, but I do write it because I want it known.

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The Grieving Within Infidelity

It is very common for couples dealing with marital infidelity to both be in a place of grieving. The unfaithful partner suffers a grief born of guilt and regret, if they're penitent, whilst the other partner suffers a grief born of the plain hurt of betrayal, and ultimately of rejection.

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Relational Silence That Sabotages or Restores

As a counsellor and a champion for peacemaking, I find there are two noteworthy kinds of silence that occur within conflict. One is very dynamic, but the other is very destructive.

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My Irregular Relationship With Compassion Fatigue

I must say, that what still comes very much without warning, I still find hard to deal with, but I know in being honest I can trust my method. I have an irregular relationship with compassion fatigue, in that I feel I am sucked dry of empathy at times to the point where I have nothing left. Times like this I'm irrational in what I say, I complain, and I can't quite seem to find space and outlet for recovery. It is generally the night's sleep that brings me out of it.

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Nurture or Neglect?

'I have a lot of room for growth,' I said as a parting shot at church one day. And the mentor I had just conversed with quipped back, 'Yes, well, growth depends on the environment you're planted in, doesn't it?'

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The Relational Beauty of Empathy

It has long been a mystery to me just why on earth some people have an excess of empathy and some people have a dearth of it. At one end of the spectrum we have people so empathic they end up in relationships with those at the other end of the spectrum - those at the narcissistic end. I don't think it's useful in the present discussion to focus on the latter, because the former are so much more worthy of discussion and praise.

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How To Get The Love You Deserve

Finding love can be an endless process especially if you have been in and out of relationships and just can't seem to find what you are looking for. We all want Love and getting honest with yourself is the first step to discovering true love. Are you ready to do what it takes to get the love you deserve?

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Relationships: How Can A Woman Tell If A Man Is Unavailable?

Although a woman may find that it is relatively easy for her to attract a man, what she may also find is that she is unable to find a man who actually wants a relationship. This may mean that she has been with a number of men who were emotionally unavailable.

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Relationships: Why Do Some People Try To Take Other People's Pain Away?

Pain is something that everyone on the planet experiences and, therefore, it is one of the things that connect human beings. However, although pain is something that can't be avoided, it doesn't mean that everyone is willing to accept this.

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Relationships: Can The Fear Of Being Seen Cause Someone To Attract People Who Are Unavailable?

There are a number of things that can stop one from being able to have a fulfilling relationship, and ending up with someone who is unavailable will be one of the things that will stop them from being able to fulfil this need. When this takes place, they can find it hard to understand how this has happened.

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Relationships: Why Do Some Women Always Attract Men Who Are Aloof?

When a woman has the tendency to end up with men who are unavailable, it is naturally going to have a negative effect on her wellbeing. Her desire to be with a man who is available is not going to be met, so it is to be expected that this won't be something that she can simply overlook.

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Relationships: Why Are Some Men Only Interested In Women Who Need To Be Saved?

When a man and a woman are together, and they are both in touch with their power, there will be no need for one of them to try to rescue the other. They will both have boundaries and they won't be carrying too much baggage.

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Heeding the Walking-Away Moment

There are at least two opportunities to walk away with wisdom: To walk away from something permanently that has lasted for too long, and, to walk away from something temporarily where space is required. Knowing how and when to make these two decisions requires wisdom.

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Do Some People Need To Experience A Few Bad Relationships Before They Can Appreciate A Good One?

There are some people who will feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is not abusive, while there will be others who won't. Therefore, if someone who can relate to the former was to end up with someone who is abusive, they would probably soon walk away.

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I'm Hoping That My Marital Separation Will Only Be Temporary. How Do I Communicate With My Spouse?

"How are you supposed to keep in touch with a separated spouse? I'm hopeful that we will not be separated for very long, but I don't know that for sure. My husband did make a point of getting a week to week place rather than signing a lease, so that does offer me a bit of encouragement. Still, things are not really all that great between us. We don't fight horribly or anything, but we just seem to misunderstand one another all of the time, so things are tense and chilly. I am used to talking to my husband multiple times per day, but I don't know how to proceed now. Some of my friends tell me that I need to follow the 'no contact' rule, but I don't like the sound of that. I want to know that my husband is okay and I'd hope that he'd feel the same about me. Still, it would feel awkward calling and have him not sound like he is happy to hear from me. So I am not sure how I should be communicating and how often. What do most couples do about this?"

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How to Be Successful With Women

In this article, I humbly lay out three straight forward time tested ways to be successful with women in the work place and in life. Respect, encouraging of ideas and collaboration with women will allow revenue growth for any organization now and in the near future.

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Unplanned Pregnancy Advice for Couples

A pregnancy one has not planned for can make one feel confused. It may throw plans out of the window and give one responsibilities he may not have bargained for. Making the right decisions now can help prevent mistakes you may regret for the rest of your life. Get unplanned pregnancy advice in this article to help you manage such a situation.

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I Think My Boyfriend Has a Drinking Problem

"I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem," is a complaint some girlfriends give. What do you do if you find yourself in such a situation? Learn a few things you can do in circumstances such as that.

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