Do You Think That These Are The Best Solutions For Your Problem?

How to Get Someone Sober

If someone you care about drinks too much or abuses drugs, you know how hard you've tried to get him sober. You probably already know that what you've done hasn't worked. Try these suggestions to increase the odds that the person you care about will get sober.

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Are We Attracted To The People Who Will Allow Us To Replay Unresolved Childhood Trauma?

When it comes to what causes one person to be attracted to another, it is can be easy to believe that it is simply due to effect that the other persons personality and/or appearance has had on them. These two factors will then have had the biggest effect on why someone is sexually attracted to another person.

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After Being Married For So Long And For Most Of Our Lives, My Husband Suddenly Doesn't Want Me

"I have been married to my husband for almost 25 years. You name it and we have been through it together. I will say that the last three years have been particularly challenging. We started a business together and things did not go as planned. My husband has gone a little crazy. He has decided that he needs to take some time off and find himself. He is going to travel extensively. I assumed that I would make at least part of this trip with him, but he told me that he wants to go completely alone and that he wants to evaluate what he wants out of life. He also says that he may decide that he no longer wants our marriage. I am devastated by this and I feel thrown away. He swears that there is no one else, but I feel very betrayed. I have given this man so many years of my life and now he may not want me anymore? I know that this is his life and he gets to make his own decisions, but it's our marriage. And it makes me feel just awful to be set aside in this way."

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Relationships: Can Someone's Inner Critic Cause Them To Put Up With Abusive Behaviour?

If one is used to spending time around people who are abusive, they can come to the conclusion that they are a victim. It is then not that one is playing a part in what is taking place; it is that this is just how their life is.

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Intimacy: Can Someone Be Unaware Of Their Own Fear Of Intimacy?

If someone has the desire to be in an intimate relationship, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they meet the right person. Alternatively, they may find that they are only able to get so far.

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My Spouse Claims He Wants A Temporary Separation. But What If It Permanent Instead?

"for the past two months, my husband has told me that he's going to seek a temporary separation. When I ask him to define this, all he'll say is that he doesn't want a divorce and that he's not going to file any legal papers. He just feels that our marriage needs a pause. He feels that if we both take a timeout, we can come back stronger and our marriage will improve. This all sounds great, right? But I'm just not buying it. His only plan seems to be for us to live apart. He's not mentioned counseling or working on our issues. I'm too scared to ask him if he intends to date other people, but I am very concerned about this possibility. I also have some concern that he's just telling me that this will be temporary in order to get me to agree. At the same time, I'm not sure that my disagreeing with him will make any difference. He has the ability to walk out the door whether I agree to it or not. At this point, I'd settle for some reassurance that I only have to worry about this temporarily."

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Betray Someone - What Happens?

To betray an ideal or a loved one can feel deeply disturbing. There are options in how we choose to respond when we are let down by others.

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Abuse and the Eggshell Skull Rule

It suddenly occurred to me, having written "a difference between a victim and a survivor", that there is subjectivity out there regarding who can legitimately claim they have been abused. I don't think it's a coincidence that I have just learned about the eggshell skull rule. It's worth knowing about.

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Three Ways to Ease the Prohibitive Conscience

If our key formative relationships featured manipulation, because it was an easy way to control us, we may have developed what can be termed a prohibitive conscience - a conscience based in fear, operating out of guilt. Likewise, if we have encountered people who are controlling, and we haven't been brought up in such a way, such manipulation can be jarring.

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Delighting In Dealing With Difficult People

You sense it straight away, booking an appointment over the phone. The person on the other end is efficient if not a little curt. With every second it seems there is a heightening urgency in their voice. You feel as if you're being intentionally problematic for them, even though you're diligently polite.

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Kindness Is Differential Blindness

If life has taught me anything it is that I am selfish. I'm being honest. I don't see very well at times. But times when I do see well, I'm prone to going my own way. I like to agree with those who think like me, and I tend to judge people who think differently. I am not very kind at times. Indeed, I think it is more the case that kindness is something I've had to work on. It isn't something that comes naturally. I think this is the case for most of us.

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The Thing About Trust

Trust is a dangerous thing. You give it when you determine it is deserved. We lavish it on those we esteem, those we have given leadership of our lives to.

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Relationships: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Associate Love With Drama?

In the same way that some car journeys can be peaceful and obstacle free and some can be noisy and full of obstacles, relationships can also fall into one of these two categories. What is clear is that it is going to be far healthier for someone to be in a relationship that falls into the fist category than one that falls into the second.

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What Are The Consequences Of A Marital Separation? How Does It Affect Yourself And Your Family?

"I am very worried about the consequences of a martial separation on my family and on my marriage. I have tried to find information about this, but most of what I am able to find involves divorce. It is very obvious that the consequences of divorce can be steep. That is why I desperately want to avoid a divorce. But what about the consequences of separation? What am I looking at here? Are there any upsides? What are the worst risks that I need to be careful about? I'm afraid that the consequences are going to be devastating to my family. That is why I fought so hard not to separate in the first place."

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Are You Relying On Luck To Get What You Want?

When I used to go to different bars and clubs on a regular basis many, many years ago, there were often men who would talk about how they hoped to 'get lucky'. Sometimes I knew the people who would say this and, at other times, this was something that I would overhear.

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