Many times, it's easier for us to blame someone else than to take
on responsibility for the problem yourself. In an intimate
relationship, this can be a killer. Blaming the other person for
everything that goes wrong in your relationship will only send it into a
downward spiral. Let's face it; we aren't right 100% of the time.
Sometimes you will be wrong, sometimes your partner will be wrong, and sometimes neither of you is wrong.
Playing the blame game with your partner will create a divide in your relationship. No one wants to know their partner is placing all the responsibility for whatever goes wrong on their shoulders. Blame can turn into other relationship problems as well. For instance, blame can turn into control or even abuse in some cases. If someone is trying to put all the blame on you constantly, they may be trying to control you in your relationship. This can turn into a form of emotional abuse. If the person is always trying to make you feel bad about everything you do, that can be a form of control.
Instead of blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong, stop and take a look inwards and figure out what you could do to make the relationship happier. Even if your partner has done something unacceptable, there is a good chance you have also contributed to the problem in some way. For example, if you blame your partner because your home is "always" a mess, take a look and see what you are doing to contribute to this problem. Perhaps your partner isn't helping you out at all, but think about how you might have said: "I will clean up the living room and kitchen because you don't tidy up properly".
There is always enough blame to go around for each person involved in an intimate relationship. Most problems are not one-sided. The key is figuring out your part and look at how you can fix it. In the end, you cannot control how someone else feels or acts.
Remember a relationship is supposed to be a place where you can feel safe and comfortable. If you're constantly feeling like blame is being put onto you, it might be possible you are in the wrong relationship.
Take responsibility for the mistakes you have made and do make, but don't feel like you have to take the blame for everything just because your partner likes to point out your flaws. When you direct love and kindness to your partner, you should get the same in return.
Sometimes you will be wrong, sometimes your partner will be wrong, and sometimes neither of you is wrong.
Playing the blame game with your partner will create a divide in your relationship. No one wants to know their partner is placing all the responsibility for whatever goes wrong on their shoulders. Blame can turn into other relationship problems as well. For instance, blame can turn into control or even abuse in some cases. If someone is trying to put all the blame on you constantly, they may be trying to control you in your relationship. This can turn into a form of emotional abuse. If the person is always trying to make you feel bad about everything you do, that can be a form of control.
Instead of blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong, stop and take a look inwards and figure out what you could do to make the relationship happier. Even if your partner has done something unacceptable, there is a good chance you have also contributed to the problem in some way. For example, if you blame your partner because your home is "always" a mess, take a look and see what you are doing to contribute to this problem. Perhaps your partner isn't helping you out at all, but think about how you might have said: "I will clean up the living room and kitchen because you don't tidy up properly".
There is always enough blame to go around for each person involved in an intimate relationship. Most problems are not one-sided. The key is figuring out your part and look at how you can fix it. In the end, you cannot control how someone else feels or acts.
Remember a relationship is supposed to be a place where you can feel safe and comfortable. If you're constantly feeling like blame is being put onto you, it might be possible you are in the wrong relationship.
Take responsibility for the mistakes you have made and do make, but don't feel like you have to take the blame for everything just because your partner likes to point out your flaws. When you direct love and kindness to your partner, you should get the same in return.
Learn about yourself... what makes you this way? Are destructive
emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your
relationship? If so, you need to get control of what you are really
telling yourself and look at your beliefs.
For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your crisis.
The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give... it's in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Beverleigh_H_Piepers
For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your crisis.
The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give... it's in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.
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